The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries immense significance and effects.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we see this here are drawn in to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, well-being, love, and closeness .

When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cities, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. Lots of gay guys desire to discover out from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very click over here important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears click to read more away and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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