The Intimacy Temptation, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings immense significance and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to incredibly tough to check this withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, nearness, and well-being .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that many of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

However, North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears navigate to this site off and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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